1. Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

2. What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

3. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

4. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

5. Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

6. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

7. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

8. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

9. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

10. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

11. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

12. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

13. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

14. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

15. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.