1. Your biggest concern about dancing is falling.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

4. You have a dream about prunes.

5. You tell the barber to comb it over the best he can.

6. Your Chihuahua weighs more than 25 pounds.

7. You read the obituaries daily.

8. Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

9. You are alarmed by how young your doctor is.

10. You wear knee high stockings with everything.

11. You find no humor in bladder control jokes.

12. You can't climb a tree... even with a ladder.

13. You play golf with your wife.

14. You don't like to drive after dark.

15. Nobody ever tells you to slow down.