5 Annoying Family Facts

1. When you are watching a movie with your parents that shows full frontal nudity.

2. When your nieces and nephews reach the age where they can tell a cheap gift from a valuable one.

3. Knowing that a dime has 118 ridges around its edge, yet not knowing where your great-grandparents originated.

4. That it's the ones who love you who are most adept at tormenting you.

5. Realizing you left a porno video in your parents DVD player as you stow your carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment.

6. When your father tells a long, meandering joke to the waitress who is holding a heavy tray, then mistakes her obligatory laugh for a real one.

7. Occasionally feeling guilty because your grandmother allows you to live in her house rent-free and you use her basement to manufacture and sell bootlegged movies on DVD.

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